Some of you loyal visitors may have noticed a change in my blog’s moniker about two weeks ago. When I began my blog way back when, I had initially intended to not only blog about ballhawking but to also weigh in on a variety of baseball topics in general, giving you my “view” both on contemporary baseball matters and my literal view from the bleachers. The Ballhawk’s View was born.

Tee-hee! Look at how cute I was back then! 13 game home runs. You rookie, former me.

A season or two and one forgotten password later, a new blog was born, and The Ballhawk’s View Part II came into existence. Around this time, my baseball thoughts (mostly complaints) were relegated to Twitter, and the blog basically died.

But now, I’m back into the swing of things and I have my eyes on the top 50 in the blogosphere. The Ballhawk’s View Part II didn’t really have a great ring to it, and I need to change that before I made my break at returning to the top 50.

I had experimented with a few different name changes, most recently 776 to 1: Beating the Odds. But why did I pick that? Some mumbo jumbo news magazine out of Las Vegas placed the odds of catching a ball at a professional baseball game at, well, 776:1. At first, I really dug that title, it had my “lucky” number 77, and those are pretty big odds. Maybe people would think I’m doing something really super-duper awesome. I left that title up for a few days but I wasn’t really feeling it. Mainly because I don’t think that figure is accurate.

While pondering potential titles, I remembered a sign that is posted all over Miller Park: The classic “Watch out for flying bats and balls” warning. I considered using exactly that, but it wasn’t too catchy or flashy. Kind of boring, actually. But I was on the right track.

Every MLB stadium has some kid of warning or cover-our-asses clause in the contract you purchase (your game ticket) to watch the game. Sometimes they post the warnings outside the gates before you enter. I figured that I’d do a little research and find some of the best of those warnings. Why? Because those warnings are cautioning against our very beloved hobby. What do all ballhawks strive to do? We want to catch that ball careening into the stands. We want that bat helicoptering right at rich stiff’s heads behind home plate. Those warnings are what WE thrive on! The search for the quirkiest, wordiest, most dangerous sounding “don’t get hit by a ball” warning was on!

It wasn’t long before I stumbled upon my friend Nick “Happy” Yohanek’s picture from a trip to Coors Field with Ballhawk Kenny Kasta. Coors Field cautions fans about …

“[I]njury resulting from the inherent dangers and risks of observing professional baseball”

That’s Ballhawk Kenny modeling the sign, and Ballhawk Happy behind the camera.

Uh… Did I miss something? Are baseballs tipped with razor blades? Do they explode on impact? Maybe the ushers come over and hit you with lead pipes if you get a souvenir. Who knows, but Coors Field makes watching baseball seem really, really dangerous. Like when you step into Coors Field you’re entering a portal to Kandahar or the Sudan…with landmines under each seat. The sign makes ballhawking sound like being “The Hurtlocker”.

So with some minor editing to accommodate length and fluidity (I just removed “and risks” and “observing”), I had myself a new blog title. Hopefully it makes me sounds like a badass. Sarcasm. But yeah, that’s the new blog title. Enjoy.

Thanks for reading, Mom and Dad! And Brooke! And everyone else!

****In all seriousness though, Coors Field is awesome from what I’ve been told. No ill will intended and any remarks were laced with sarcasm. The people were friendly, the scenery pristine and presentation beautiful. It’s a safe place. Go see games there. Spend your money there. Explore Denver and have the time of your life.****